I think I am still in shock

i don't know what happened

I remember being tense - I remember going outside to eat alone because I was aggravated & wanted to calm down

next thing I know I am drop kicking my food & screaming just to throw it in the trash like my food from the night before & leave me alone!

After being ordered to leave by my bf because I was being "crazy" he made a CHOICE to then physically attack me - when all I wanted to do was walk past him to go get some pants & my keys

I remember being upside down in a headlock with my hands grabbing for something anything to get him off of me - i don't know how we separated that time but then I was going around the house to go in the front to get my shit - this time running into him in the living room for the same thing to happen - this time me eating the floor & having massive rug burn across my face

My whole body hurts today - my mind & my heart the worst

Last night I could not get comfortable at all - my ears hurt - I am guessing from my head being shoved up against him - my right hand pinky - my left side & it really hurts to move my neck - im so glad I went to the chiropractor 3 days before *eyeroll*

All of my stuff is in my mothers garage

I really thought things were changing - I really thought our relationship was getting stronger - I was seeing him care for me more than others had - I know I am not easy to handle & he was doing so great at dealing with me - I was so happy that we had just celebrated 10mths - why did he have to touch me - words are one thing but he touched me!

I was freaking out YES but I didn't touch him & would not have!

I loved being "enter his name here" girlfriend.

Now its just me. I guess I need to learn how to be that.

We even had people telling us they loved that we were together & that we made a great couple

I just want him to hold me for him to tell me he is sorry but then I would just be that stupid fucking girl who falls for tricks

He did this once - would he do it again?

This isn't the man I thought I knew.